The Asshole Survival Guide

It's inevitable, at some point in your life you will encounter an asshole. There not an endangered species, in fact sometimes there is an over population of them. So I could give you tips to avoid them, like learning the red flags, disapproving stares and beginning sentences to a not welcomed lecture. However the fact is, some are just to good at disguising it. So instead I'm going to teach you how to survive the inevitable encounter.

" No I checked my receipt, I didn't buy any of your bullshit today"

1)Remain still calm and quiet: Don't give them any reason to engage with you, and if they do, don't give them the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you

2)Smile and nod while backing away slowly: Make them think your listening while quietly escaping the rant, gloat or put down your currently going through

3)Make them feel in control: Lead them to believe your idea was there's, so you get your way and avoid the conflict of fighting for what you want

4)RUN: When you get the disapproving stare, flee before the lecture starts, or you'll be stuck for who knows how long

5)Learn from the past: When red flags come up, make them red lights. Halt the encounter, friendship, or relationship. Once an asshole, always an asshole, there's no reasoning or changing their mind.

"My knight in shinning armour turned out to be an asshole in aluminium foil"

Follow these steps and you'll be less likely to get shat on.