Dealing With Loss
No matter what the circumstances are, losing someone is always hard. Knowing that you will never get to see, hear or hold them again, is hard. Knowing that all the memories you have are all that's left and there wont be any new ones, is hard. Knowing that their smile will no longer light up your world, is hard. Everyone says the same things, well there in a better place, at least there suffering is over, and I'm so sorry for your loss(Which I never really understood when I was younger cause why should anyone be sorry, you didn't kill them right? So why are you sorry. But there sorry for the grief your going through, for the fact that you simply lost someone close to you). My favorite line however is "Everything gets better in time". No. No it doesn't. It simply gets easier to live with everyday but at no point is it better. You get use to not seeing them or hearing them anymore, but there is still an empty space they left in your heart, and that space was there's and there's only to fill. So when you lose someone there will always be a part of you that hurts. A part of you that will never seem full again. A few tears that shed when you think about them. But eventually with time, the tears may turn into a small smile when you think of them. The empty part of you will be full of their memories. But the pain will still be pain. It doesn't go away, it never gets better because they are gone, it simply gets easier to live with. Don't give up, the pain may never be fully gone, but eventually you will be able to think of them and smile instead of cry.
I would like to dedicate this post to my grandpa with whom I lost the other day. He was always a bright, bright light in this world. A day didn't go by without him smiling or laughing. I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked but that's the hard part about living with great distance between family. I still remember every time I spent with him though. Visiting from the time I was a little girl and riding on the back of his atv, picking blueberries with him, learning to wind surf and sail with him. He was a great grandpa, a great friend and a great inspiration. From the first day I met my grandpa, through my whole life and through his time being sick, he was always trying to get up and live life to the fullest. He didn't waste a day and worked hard until his last breath to be the great man I knew he was. Now that hes gone I know he isn't suffering anymore, which makes me happy, but also knowing I will never get to see him again, share another memory with him, makes me so sad. On Saturday, February 24 the world got a little darker when the brightest light I've ever known was extinguished. Grandpa to me you will always live on in the waves crashing against sail boats, in the amber burning from fires in the night sky, in the roar of the atvs you taught me to drive, in the blueberries unpicked in the fields and most importantly in my heart and the hearts of all the family you left behind. You live in the hearts of those you left behind. So many people loved you, so as far as I'm considered you will always live on. I love you grandpa.
